So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
