so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
