Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
