do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
