Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
