The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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