I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
