I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
