I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
