Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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