Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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