I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
