i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
