STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
