Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
