I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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