the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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