I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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