this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
