Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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