how can u be prego again
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
