Quick, to the slutcave!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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