White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
