Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize