If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
