Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
