he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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