Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
