Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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