I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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