If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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