haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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