Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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