the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
