Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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