we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
