I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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