grandma shit on top of the toilet
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Terrible idea I love it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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