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I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
