I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i drank out of a bidet.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
