she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
