Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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