Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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