dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize