He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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