he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
