I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
another moral hangover. fuck.
from now on my penis is your penis
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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