Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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