Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
