I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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