i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
NoShamevember. You game?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
