My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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