We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
