Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think people are normalizing furries
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize