I puked a lego.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
