how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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