Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
