so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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