What did we do last night that was yellow?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
