it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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