We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
