dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
