No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
