i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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