dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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